thorn in my flesh…
For some weird reason, in the back of mind, I figured the good Lord would heal me before the summer was over. Don’t ask me why… I just thought that he would heal me before I launched into another season of ministry. In the fall, my life races a hundred miles an hour with breakfast clubs, FCA, speaking engagements, as well as my podcast and blog. I’m B.U.S.Y.
And I mistakenly thought that God wouldn’t expect me to do all of those things while battling lymes disease, fibromyalgia, and pelvic floor issues.
I was wrong.
It’s fall and I’m still feeling unwell. I have been having a pretty good pity party too, until I heard a song on the radio that stopped me in my tracks. Does music ever get to you like that? It was a song by Bethel Music called, “Goodness of God.” and if you haven’t heard it yet, click here.
The lyrics that touched me are:
All my life you have been faithful.
All my life you have been so, so good.
With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.
Boom. My bad attitude got an adjustment in one chorus.
God has been so faithful to me for my entire life, even when I wasn’t faithful to him.
God has been so good to me for my entire life, even when I wasn’t good to him.
And I promised him ten years ago that no matter what, I would share his goodness with the world for as long as he gave me breath because he is worthy.
Friends, I may not have my health, but I have breath.
As the tears ran down my face, and the music filled my van, I resolved to the Lord that I would do ministry in the midst of failing health… until I no longer have breath.
I’m not exactly sure when I bought into the lie that God would make my life easier so that I could do his work, but that lie didn’t do me any favors. I just sat around moping and waiting for my healing instead of working for his kingdom. God revealed long ago in his word that his strength is perfected in our weakness. He doesn’t make our lives perfect so we can do his work, he meets us in our weakness so that his power is more evident.
Paul’s life is a perfect example of this. God gave him a “thorn in the flesh” to keep him humble:
2 Corinthians 12:8-10, “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
My weakness in this season is an opportunity for God’s strength to shine brightly. And friend, your biggest weakness is an opportunity for you to shine the light of Christ as well. If you have a minute, read 2 Corinthians 4. It’s a beautiful chapter that is all about persevering through hardship. It will inspire you to keep going no matter what you are facing. As always, I love hearing from you. Email me or comment on the blog and I will get on my knees for you. Let’s do this faith journey together.
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Thank you for this❤️
thanks for reading! blessings to you!
Thank you for sharing!!!
Aminta,
I love that song…touches my very soul. It’s the kind of music that makes you feel God and His love when we don’t always feel this way and you once again know He loves you and is always with us in the joyful moments, tender moments, sad moments, in times of loss and loneliness, in times of frustration and confusion…every moment. How often do I forget this?!
That He is for us! He really is for us. When I feel all alone and when I am going through hard times alone, I am not really alone at all. He’s holding me and taking care of me like a father who takes care of his child and it feels so good to be loved!
I am praying for you. I pray that God will heal you while you are serving, which is what it seems you fo best. I pray He will give you strength, endurance, motivation, a renewed sense of purpose and value, a desire to know Him more and find Him in new ways, overflowing with His love and grace,, and to feel Him and keep Him close to you as you put your whole heart, life, intentions and purpose, faith and strength in Him.
And through all that, look up! He’s with you and will carry you when you are too weak to do it alone. His love is bigger than we can imagine!
It’s fall now ( a little earlier the last few years) and my absolute favorite season!
God is coloring the earth with gorgeous color like the best art project! The sounds, smells, activities, day trips ( we always take vacation time at this time to day trip and take in all the yummy goodness fall brings us).
I hope you can take some time (cozy long walks, warm cozy cup of tea, etc with a good book, family game evening) whatever feeds your soul and rest in today. Today is good! We have so much to be grateful/thankful for!
At every meal our family goes around the table and we verbalize 3 things we are grateful for. It’s amazing what little ones come up with! We get an assortment of answers but it is teaching us all to be more grateful without even realizing it as well as observant.
Each season is God’s beautiful art project and I encourage you to drink in the beauty and visualize yourself being set free! It’s disappointing when we don’t experience things when we think we should and we have to keep being patient and keep waiting…I know! We can often feel overlooked by God and feel lost and lonely and NOT understand His plan and timing .
Feel refreshed. Feel encouraged. Feel His presence and hope.
I never meant for this to be this long…sorry.
Find joy today and I pray your healing will come like a soft and gentle breeze.
Blessings,
Jilleen Lemberg
❤️❤️❤️
Love this. Thank you you so much for the prayers! And the sharing your grateful heart. Our family does a very similar thing at the dinner table. And my new habit is to praise God so something before I even get out of bed- so that I start my day with a grateful heart.
Blessings!
“Such graces has He lavished on us that we should be called sons and daughters of God.” 1 John 1:31
I too have had tears running down my face listening to this song and thinking about the grace and goodness of God in my own life. I am not worthy to receive His blessings or grace, but He not only has given them to me, He’s gone beyond that to call me his daughter. We are daughters of the King! I will think of you whenever I hear that song, remember the blessings He has given us both and will be praying for you as you continue to serve him with this thorn. ❤️ u, so proud of u & so encouraged to hear your heart as you lean into Him and His Word.
Love you sis! Love that verse too. Thanks for reading and thank for praying. Hugs!
Thanks for sharing, Aminta
Having had lyme disease and the pelvic floor issue, my heart goes out to you. I will be praying for you that God will bring healing – keep your hope in the Lord and rest in Him and His timing for your healing. You’re so right, when we focus on Jesus and praise Him, He helps us have a better attitude, which truly does help with feeling better. Praying He’ll help you do that even on the harder days.
We’ve had a rough summer with the death of our son and daughter in law, and this verse has really been a blessing to me, I pray it will encourage you too:
Psalm 62: 5-8
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God[c];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
I am so thankful to have this exact blog post to read whenever I feel unsure of why. Why is my Husband so sick? Why can’t they figure it out? Why would the Lord want him to feel this way? I will not have pity, only faith, hope & patients. I know things fall into place when the time is right. This morning, while my husband struggled, I closed my eyes & allowed myself a moment to feel hope & strength for us both & remember the power is in the Lord, but the faith & hope is in us. Thanks for this blog Minta, it truly does help. Have a blessed day!