Being a parent is no joke.
It seems like I do not have enough time in the day, EVER, to get stuff done.
Actually, I get plenty done: driving kids around, yard work, laundry, meals, and paying bills.
I’m talking about the “me” stuff. That’s the stuff I can’t figure out how to do.
Please don’t ask me when I showered last. It will freak you out.
Finding time to work on my ministry stuff?
That makes me laugh so hard I snort.
This summer has challenged me like never before. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to figure out how to be a mom and run my ministry at the same time.
Can any other parents out there relate to the work / family dilemma?
I desperately want to honor God with how I spend my time. I desire to be a good steward of the gifts he has given me and the little people he has entrusted to me.
BUT IT’S NOT GOING WELL.
I struggle with the chaos of it.
I want to be more peaceful.
I feel like quitting.
I’m not sure what to do differently.
Amidst the mayhem, here is what I have figured out:
Balance is a myth.
There is really no such thing as the perfect work / family balance.
Being a parent is more like being a firefighter: find the fires and put them out.
Some days, that means more time with family. Other days, that means more time with work.
Either way, it’s all about locating the fire and then putting it out quickly to minimize damage.
Being a firefighter of chaos is not my fav.
This morning, I woke up super early and got on my knees in frustration.
Here’s a little glimpse of what I brought before the Lord:
“If you want me to do this ministry, why isn’t it easier to find people to help me? I’m stressed.”
“If you want me to do this ministry, why are my kids so challenging right now? I’m frustrated.”
“If you want me to do ministry, why does it feel like I build any momentum? I’m stuck.”
“If you want me to do ministry, then please make it easier or I may give up. I’m anxious.”
I know, not the best attitude. I AM AWARE. It’s just honestly where I was at.
You know what God said in response?
Immediately, Isaiah 26:3 came to my mind: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”
I knelt there, corrected.
I have been seeking balance in the wrong place: trying to fix my circumstances instead of focusing on the Creator.
Real peace doesn’t come from my circumstances being perfect or manageable or from lack of fires.
Peace comes from trusting God, MY ROCK, and out of that trust, a mind that keeps focused on him no matter what is happening around me. The truth is that a mind fixed on God cannot be thinking about chaos!
Trust in God —–> A mind focused on God —–> Peace in my heart and mind despite the chaos.
My peace flows out of my trust for my Father, not perfect balance.
LIFE IS MESSY. Not because I’m failing at balance but because that’s life. If I can learn to accept the mess and trust God despite the mess, I can find peace in the middle of the mess.
It’s possible to be a firefighter with a peace-filled heart.
Friend, if you find yourself fighting fires this summer, I see you. It’s not easy to juggle everything and stay sane. My prayer for you, and for me, is that we can stop in the midst of chaos and fix our eyes on the one who alone is able to bring us to peace.
As always, I love hearing from you. Comment on the blog or email me and I would love to pray for you as you navigate the busyness of life. You are not alone!
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