it’s my 40th birthday today…
It’s my 40th birthday today.
That seems like a REALLY big number.
But I’m ok with it: gray hair, wrinkles, and all.
Actually, I’m more than ok. I’m excited about the coming decade.
For no other reason than I am hopeful about what God has in store for me.
I hope this decade in my life is defined by him and him alone, because that hasn’t always been the case.
The first 28 years of my life were what I would call the “achieving” years. My perfectionistic self tried as hard as she could to be the best at everything. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was constantly striving for the approval of others, finding my value in awards and praise. I loved God, but my faith took second place.
Then there were the five “searching” years when my life fell apart. All of my achieving came up empty, so I got angry with God and walked away from him completely. I searched for purpose and fulfillment in everything the world says will make you happy: money, fame, relationships, and partying. It didn’t work. I ended up alone, desperate and so much worse off without God in my life.
He radically saved me, and the last seven years have been the “chasing” years. Chasing after God with reckless abandon has been my calling and mantra. Some of it has been marked with intense loss and heartache, some of it with unbelievable blessing, but all of it has been devoted to one purpose – to glorify the Father.
Recently, I have been studying the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6, and it’s come to mean so much more to me than I ever thought it could. I have known the words since I was a little girl, but now I see it in a new light: as a plea for my life to be devoted to him. I want the first line to be the cry of my heart as I enter a new decade: “Hallowed by your name.”
I wrote my own version of the Lord’s prayer, and I want to share it with you as I celebrate today.
Hallowed be your name. First and foremost, let my heart be consumed with an all-surpassing passion for you. Reign in my life. Let my heart be hallowed for you alone. Let me be consumed by a reverent awe for you all of my days.
Out of that supreme devotion, let flow a lifestyle of kingdom work. Let me be dedicated to your plans and purposes: seeking, praying and carrying them out no matter the cost. Let your kingdom come and your will be done.
To accomplish your will, let me be wholly reliant on your provision: for my bread and daily needs, for the forgiveness of my sins which brings hope, and for the power to live a holy life that brings honor to your name. I recognize that you are the source of all I need to chase after you.
Father, let nothing take your place on the throne of my heart. Not money, not relationships, not health, not accolades, not even pleasure.
Empower me to live as your servant, dying to self daily and sacrificing all that I am for your glory. Help me forsake comfort, stability and popularity for your name’s sake.
Let me be anxious for nothing, but trust in your Spirit to provide all the power I need to carry out the task of hallowing your name. I realize I cannot accomplish anything on my own, but am desperately dependent on you.
O Lord, as I stand on the precipice of 40, this is my deepest longing:
Let me run. Let me run as fast and as far as I can after you, my life a reflection of your magnificent love. Let me continue to chase you with reckless abandon.
My heart and my life is yours, both now and forever.
Friends, I am so thankful on this day for all of the blessings God has given me, and you are near the top of the list. Thank you for reading my blog, encouraging me in the journey and praying for me when I need it most. I am grateful for each of you and I am committed to praying for you too. Comment or message me and I will get on my knees for you. Let’s do this faith journey together, running as fast as we can after the only thing that matters.
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Happiest of Birthdays, dear Lord Chaser! You will run the race hard, I know. Love you for all that you are and all that you strive to be in Him.
Happy Birthday Aminta! To say that you are beautiful is an understatement! Love that your gorgeous outward beauty is just a small reflection of your amazingly big inner beauty! Thanks for being such an encouragement and example for me and all my boys! We love you more than you know and are so proud of you! All our love today on your 40th and always!!! 🤗❤️🥰
Have a lovely birthday , Aminta as everyone who knows and loves you ( even people like myself who have never even met you) and somehow you came into my life at just the right time! Reading your blog and finding a new desire to run/chase after God while going through a very lonely and heartbreaking loss…our third baby is with Jesus…miscarriage at the end of my first trimester. Very unprepared for this huge loss and trying to find a new me as i just couldn’t be as i was before and become more loving, empathetic, compassionate, tender and live with more intention and live in the moment because time is so very precious. This was hard going through the miscarriage and trying to understand how my brokeness and relationship with God could find healing. Little pieces of my soul are coming back and I’m beginning to feel hope and peace. Now just wanting so very badly to have more babies as our family doesn’t feel complete. This has been so difficult…the loss of our third baby and not being able to get pregnant again for this long. I had to forgive myself and find grace to accept that going through this, at least for me/us, was really difficult and I’m glad i allowed myself the time to grieve and go through the whole grieving process. It just meant that i didn’t always feel present with our other two little ones and i struggle with this the most…feeling like i wasnt the mama to them i had always been. This is why i felt guilt/shame. My husband shows me pictures showing me i was there loving, giving and serving but it just wasnt the same. I feel like i missed out but more importantly, i felt like i failed them and my job as their mama which is such a gift and privilege.
So much to work through, process and find peace with. Thank you for your encouragement and even what seems like friendship, when we’ve never actually met. You had a place in my healing process up until now…thank you! I only hope to somehow be more loving and giving and serving to others and somehow find a way of helping others through my experience.
You were a friend during a very empty and loely time when i prayed for a friend and find others to form meaningful and loving friendships with.
So, happy birthday! I pray your day is full of love and precious little sweet moments as people ( especially your family) celebrate you!
May your heart be full today,
Jilleen and kyle Lemberg
I am so honored that you would share all of that with me. I am sitting here in tears, wishing that I could give you a giant hug. I have been there…I lost a baby at 11 weeks and it was so devastating. It does change you forever…and your parenting too.
I want to encourage you that there is extravagant grace for all of the time that it takes to grieve and mourn and process through it all. God has that covered in your life and in your parenting. There is nothing but love and grace waiting in his arms. I am absolutely certain that you are still an amazing mama to your two kids…and I know that God can use this too…
He can use this to draw you closer to him. To make you more like him. To make you fully dependent on him – all of which will make you an even better mom. A mom who knows completely her desperate need for Jesus is the best mom.
The devil wants to use this to take you out…but he will not win and his words are not truth.
The truth is that even if you are weary and broken and sad, you are enough. You are a good mom. You love your kids and that is enough.
I am not trying to minimilize the pain or the hurt or the disappointment or the time that this takes to process, but I want to be an encouragement to you that you are not alone and that God has this and that you can keep going… keep seeking…keep listening to truth…keep hoping and dreaming and loving. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
We are absolutely friends… and even better – sisters in Christ. I will be on my knees for you- praying for God to fill you will his hope, his healing, his blessings. For him to carry you when you need it, and for him to show you what he has for you in the future. I will pray for you to continue to seek him and his will. Please let me know if there is anything else that I can pray for you!
Much love to you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINTA!!! I didn’t say it before. 00000000000hugs000000000000
Minta, I love reading your blogs. They’re getting better and better … I find encouragement for my own life with Jesus Christ. I find encouragement to pray … for you, friends, family, our family throughout the world.
“Father, I pray for Minta’s protection … and for protection for her whole family. Please give them Your peace that passes understanding, Your mercy and love that never fails. I pray in Jesus’ name knowing that you hear and answer prayer.”
We love everybody at your house!
Tama and Nina 00000000hugs000000000000000
Thank you so much Tama and Nina! Love you guys!