All the adrenaline that has been carrying me through football season has completely died.

Now that the season is over, I suddenly feel like I am 100 years old.

I’m exhausted: emotionally, mentally and physically.

On Saturday evening, I fell asleep at 7:00 PM while I was trying to study the Word. When I woke up, my face was pressed onto the top of my notebook and a little puddle of drool was blurring my notes. #classy.

Never have I been so tired…or so grateful.

Grateful because I’ve been pondering something in my heart for about four months.

It has to do with football – and I promise this is my last football post for awhile. (Hang with me!)

We had an amazing season at our house.

An unbelievable one, actually. And we got to celebrate it last night at the awards banquet. As I sat at the head table, looking out over the sea of people, I was overcome with thankfulness. Six months ago, we knew NONE of those people and weren’t even dreaming about Ben taking another head coaching job.

Yet, there we were…watching a phenomenal highlight reel, thanking a hundred volunteers and handing out dozens of awards.

God is so good, I kept thinking. His ways are so much higher than ours…and also so much more challenging.

My husband took over the head football coach position at Blaine about a month before the season started and it has been beyond crazy ever since. He once told me that no sane person would take a head football coaching job that late in the year.

But he did.

Partly because I made him, but mostly because we both felt it was what God was asking us to do. The moment I heard about the opening, I knew it was supposed to be his. I can’t explain it, but I heard God whisper that I was supposed to champion Ben to go for it.

So I did…quite adamantly.

It’s impossible, Ben told me. There is not enough time. I don’t know the coaches or the players or even the plays. This year could be really bad. Our family isn’t ready – we have four kids and it’s too much for you to do everything while I coach. We need more time.

God’s got this, I said at least a thousand times. He has a plan. Trust him. This is our time.

Not to say I told you so, but…

We were 11-1 and made the state semi-finals.

It may sound funny to be saying this about football, but when God moves, there is nothing that can stop Him.

I wouldn’t have predicted that God would bring us to Blaine this football season.

I wouldn’t have guessed that he would bless Ben’s humble efforts in such a huge way.

I wouldn’t have foreseen the giant gift he gave us in the community and coaching staff and players of Blaine.

But that’s what He did.

I have been pondering all of this as I watched Ben coach, and again last night as I watched him hand out awards. Pondering because I heard God’s voice so clearly about Ben taking this position when the job became available; his voice was so clear it seemed audible. Then, I heard it again while I was sitting in the stands at the first game of the season. I heard his quiet voice whisper to me that we were going to go undefeated, and that my hubby was going to win an award for being coach of the year.

It’s ok if you think I’m crazy.

I realize it sounds pretty unbelievable to claim to hear God’s voice.

(PICTURED ABOVE: BEN’S PARENTS AND MY PARENTS)

I doubted that I heard it too, but I prayed about it several times and heard the same thing. I told almost no one, because it felt so weird. Then, about 5 games in, I had a conversation with my mom. She reluctantly admitted to me (because my dad encouraged her) that God said something to her in the stands during the first game of the year: he told her we were going to go undefeated. I said, “NO WAY! HE TOLD ME THAT TOO!”

We looked at each other in disbelief.

I’ve thought about that moment so many times.

I’ve held it closely to my heart…pondering as I watched it unfold one game at a time.

Pondering until we were 8-0 in the regular season and my hubby was named coach of the year for our district.

It’s felt special.

It’s grown my faith.

To hear his voice. To watch his blessing unfold. To know it was coming.

I hear Proverbs 21:30 echo in my head almost every game: “No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord.”

It’s true.

Isaiah 55:8-9 proclaims: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

Also true.

I’ve cherished that little secret of mine all season, because it’s been amazing, yet it’s been so.painfully.hard. It is no small task to be a football coaching family…it’s downright ugly at times (mostly me being ugly, not my family). It’s the main reason I’m so weary.

But here’s what I am learning: God’s plan is perfect, but it isn’t always easy. Or predictable. Or even attainable without his power. Following him takes sacrifice, and is scary, and is completely exhausting. This season has pushed us to the limit…beyond our limits.

Watching my hubby lead this team was one of the coolest things I have ever seen, and one of the most difficult things to walk out. The season is over, but I have kept pondering…both the beauty of it and what it cost. Obedience has meant surrendering my goals, my comfort, my dreams, all to his plan. However:

If we had decided it was too much work, we would have missed the blessings God had for us.

If we had given in to fear of inadequacy, we would have missed the blessings God had for us.

If we had chosen comfort and familiarity, we would have missed the blessings God had for us.

Instead, we chose confident trust and I’m so glad. So tired, but so glad.

It has been totally worth the cost.

Maybe God let me in on that secret so that I could KNOW I was firmly in his plan and have something to carry me through the hard times. If so, it worked. On the days I wanted to quit, I thought about my promise…and kept going. It’s a wonderful feeling to know you are right where God wants you to be.

Friends, can I encourage you with this truth?

God still speaks.

His voice can still be heard.

He is actively moving among his people to accomplish his will.

His plan will prevail. His power is enough. His purpose will be accomplished. For his glory alone.

Just listen, and you will hear it.

Listen by reading his Word, praying for his spirit to help you hear, and surrendering to his plan when you do. Pretty soon, his voice will be clear. 

It’s worth the effort, I promise you.

Even if you get weary. Even if it’s difficult.

I will never forget this season of pondering for as long as I live.

As always, I love hearing from you. Comment below or message me and I would love to get on my knees for you, especially if you are worn out and tired. Let’s do this faith journey together.