i don’t fit in…
I don’t fit in. I just don’t. In any area of my life, really. I used to; but now I don’t. And I’m totally at peace with it.
The first reason is that I have bigs and littles – ages 16, 13, 3, and 1. I don’t fit in with parents of teens who are enjoying freedom and showers and sitting down; I know not what those things are. Those parents smile politely at me while I attempt to herd my littles at sporting events and make comments about how glad they are to be done with my stage of life. Sigh.
I don’t fit in with parents of littles who are 15 years younger than me and can’t fathom how it feels to be as old as I am, or as tired, or as wrinkly. They can’t relate to the attitudes or the decisions or the money pit that is raising teenagers. I end up feeling like the grandma of the group and despite my gray hair, I’m not ready for that title.
The second reason I don’t fit in is that I don’t watch TV. Like, ever. Well, occasionally I watch football because I’m married to a football coach and that is required for the sake of love. Other than that, I don’t watch. I gave it up because it felt like garbage in, garbage out. It’s almost impossible to find anything on TV that represents Christians well, or doesn’t come with a slew of ads that I have to tell my kids to cover their eyes for. If you want to talk about the latest and greatest TV anything, I am not your girl.
The third reason that I don’t fit in is that I don’t care about labels. I could care less if my clothes or my bag or shoes are name brand anything. I definitely don’t care about who’s wearing what and the jewelry that goes with it. I did the “seven” experiment a couple years back* and I loved it; seven articles of clothing for 30 days. It was so freeing. Today, I still have a really small and inexpensive wardrobe.
The fourth (and biggest!) reason is that I am a certified Jesus freak. It’s true. Reckless abandon after Jesus is my pursuit. I talk about him all the time and am known to break into spontaneous sermons. God rescued me when I least deserved it; I am forever grateful and determined everyone should know a love such as His. I can bring pretty much any conversation back to Jesus and the need to pursue truth. P.S. If you are looking for a friend who will tell you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear, I’m not her.
I don’t fit in because the more I study scripture (at 4:45am because that’s the only time I am alone… pass the coffee, please), the more my views and values do not line up with the popular trends in culture when it comes to faith. The more I read, the more passionate I get about seeking and understanding truth. The more I read, the more radical I get in my opinion of how I think God wants us to live. The more I read, the more I value humility and being transformed by God. The more I read, the more I realize that we don’t just need to love better, but we also need to speak the truth better. We need more love and more truth; not just one or the other.
So I don’t fit in. And I’m ok with it. I’m trying to be brave enough to tell my story and share truth, because I think both need to be told. My faith crumbled once because I never put in the work to make it strong. I desire that mess for no one.
If you don’t feel like you fit in either; welcome. There’s a place for you here.
If you have made all the mistakes, like me; it’s good to see you.
If you love Jesus like a crazy person; we can definitely be friends.
If you aren’t sure what you think about faith; especially the lukewarm kind that seems to do more harm than good, I get it. I hope these posts help you find your way to Jesus and a love that never fails even when everything else does.
If you think that I am probably crazy and definitely weird after reading this, you are right. But stick around anyway; let’s be brave enough to learn from our differences.
Together, let’s be full of grace and hate all things judgmental. Let’s be warriors against weak faith; the shallow and useless kind that I used to have. Let’s love our neighbors and strangers alike, and be humble enough to hear when we are wrong. Let’s be committed to speaking the truth in love. Let’s make this a space that explores making faith practical, chasing God and not the world, letting go of who we’ve been for the sake of who he’s calling us to be, and not fitting in.
Let me know: is there any area in your life where you don’t you fit in because of your faith? What is it and how do you deal with it? Comment below and let’s talk about it; because it’s better to not fit in together than to not fit in alone.
I’d be so grateful if you would sign up to be on my email list… signing up means you get a bonus newsletter about once a month. It will have articles, pics, practical faith tips and the occasional dessert recipe that will completely derail any type of healthy eating plan you may be on (I excel in the area of desserts, just not the healthy ones). If you EVER need prayer, post it in the comments and I will get on my knees for you; cause that’s my thing. Prayer WORKS.
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Love it! You are so brave to put yourself out there. Proud of who you are. #Truthalwayswins
Love it. Love you. Can’t wait to hear more of what you have to say.
Thanks, friend. I appreciate you!
This was great. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Kelly! Fun to hear from you. I’d love to hear your story sometime…
Inspiring! Fitting in is not worth it, nor the purpose of our existence. I’m with you !
SO true! I love how you phrased that. Thanks!
One problem you may run into if you keep writing these amazing posts is that you’ll find out how many people feel like you do. You might find folks you fo fit in with… then you’ll have to change your name!
TV = spot on. It’s atrocious. Ok it was all so good Aminta. I loved it. It’s hard to compete with the big AND littlest thing, but I’m pushing 50 and Drew is 5 months old. Thanks for putting all of this to words, I can’t wait for the next one! -john
Ps Sara’s trying to see what I’m so focused on lol!
Thanks John. You and Sara are so amazingly supportive. Love you guys. And I do believe pushing 50 with a 5 month old ranks right up there with not fitting in…but you are doing great! On a side note, everyone we talk to from Blaine says you are their favorite teacher. You clearly have mad skills.
Sounds so familiar!! I have never fit in and now proud of it… when God makes you for a purpose and you know what it is life is no longer about you and that’s definitely sets you apart. I was just saying to myself…. conversations about Jesus are just so much better than any other ones.
I read today which reminds me of one of my fav quotes and thought only certain women would understand this…. you are one of them😁
The sweet incense of faith was released when her life and her will were crushed
Have fun on your new journey
Cyndi! So good to hear from you. I love this. Love it. I might have to use that sometime… I will give you credit of course! lol. Hope that you are well…would be fun to catch up. And yes, conversations about Jesus are definitely the best.
Awesome! Excited for you and to read more!
Thanks! I’ve enjoyed watching you and your mom! love it!
Really enjoyed reading this, Minta!
Thank you Anna. Miss ya girl!
Love you girl!! I think you are just wonderful!
Thanks! Love you guys so much! We are continuing to pray for you all.. and thanking God for what he has already done. date night soon?
I love it Aminta! So excited to read all of your thoughts and to see into your heart! And of course- I remember your desserts! Ha! Xoxo
lol. Miss you! Would love to hear your story sometime… so much has happened!
Great post my dear! Keep speaking that truth! You push me to be a better me by turning me back to God’s word.
Right back at you! Thank you for giving me the push I needed.
Loved every bit of it! You have always had this gift inside of you and I am SO glad you are sharing it! Love you and miss you! 😘
alicia! that made me get all choked up. You are so great. Love you and miss you too. sorry I have been so horrible at keeping in touch.
think of you often. hope you are well.
I love your heart and I am encouraged by your words. I, too, feel like I no longer fit in and share so many of your sentiments as to why I don’t , and why it’s no longer something that consumes me. I am excited to see where this journey takes you and love that you are sharing it with us, so we can all pursue Jesus together.
You have been such a great cheerleader for me these past few years. I’m so thankful for the conversations (text and in person!) that have helped me grow and encouraged me to keep going. Thank you. Also I miss our whimsy trips… we always has such good talks.
We, too, had bigs and littles. It is a challenge, but it’s wonderful.
I look forward to reading more!
That’s right! Any tips you want to pass along? Id love to hear them!
My sister and I talk allot about not fitting in ….love the title of this blog…eager to be on this journey and read/grow with you…
Tami! You have always been exceptional…not made to fit in but stand out. So glad you are along for the ride; I’ve always appreciated what you bring to the table.
Aminta your amazing! Your words touch my heart, and I can relate to it so much ! Would love to connect! I’m trying to remind myself that Prayer does work. It’s hard to believe in some situations, but I’m trying to just pray about anything!
Keep going. Prayer works. And so does reading the bible. Sometimes it’s our heart that needs to change and not our circumstance. Don’t give up!
So proud of you Aminta! And I’m so glad God brought us together to do life and writing and navigating life differently together! 😘
Thank you so much Angie! I’m so grateful too!
So beautifully written and so many things you said resonated with me…..“We need more love and more truth; not just one or the other.” This is both convicting and humbling and is giving me much to reflect on today. The ‘not fitting in’ sums up pretty much my whole life – thank you for your boldness and honesty and for inspiring me to do more to strengthen my faith. Oh the mistakes I’ve made! Maybe feelings of guilt, shame, unworthiness, etc. have been stifling me for too long now. – preventing me from really ‘not fitting in’ in the BEST way. Look forward to talking soon…..
You have a such a beautiful and generous spirit. I’m so thankful for the woman God has made you to be. I’ve made soooo many mistakes, and I’m so thankful for a God that loves us at our worst; but too much to leave us there. I’m so thankful for his grace. God is using you and your gifts to change lives- I’ve seen and experienced it.
Love this! So proud of you friend and your gift to share.
Coming from a hard childhood, I started to look to God for comfort at a young age. Our parents learned when we were in grade school (maybe younger) that the local church would send a bus for us take us to church for a couple hours and drop us back off. They didn’t send us because they believed (they did not attend church), it was kid free time.
I found comfort and peace in reading and remembering bible verses even being the top student earning me extra carnival tickets that my siblings would hound me for. My siblings didn’t find the same faith and I grew up in my faith alone. I have spent my life trying to explain my faith to those who don’t believe. Then I met you and instantly knew I wasn’t wrong or alone in my faith. I have said it to you before but god put you in my life for a wonderful reason. You got myself and Gordie back to church, you fill me with scripture and knowledge of gods plan and you make me want to be a better Christian. You are a blessing in my life!
Can’t wait to read the next blog..
That made me cry. I’m so thankful for God’s great plan and that I get to be a part of your story. You and Gordie have been the most loyal and serving friends the last five years. We wouldn’t have made it without you and your generosity. God has given you the gift of faith- the ability to trust and seek him even when no one else does. He uses you to show his love to others and you are absolutely a beacon of light to those who live in darkness. You serve and love and give like Jesus did. I love you friend.
Way to go, girl! Can’t wait to hear more! 🙂
Thanks Judy. Always been thankful for you and your grace.
As I read I felt like you were describing me. I thought I was the only one. When I 20 years old and only saved for a short time, I remember zipping home to catch my favorite soap opera that I was addicted to. I was sitting there watching a illicit bedroom scene and I heard the Lord speak to my heart so clearly,…”Why do you love what I hate. I hate adultery and fornication. “ He was tell me not to be intrigued or participate by observation or association in what He disapproved of.
A little later some of our Christian friends said there was a movie we should go to with them, and a similar scene popped up. I felt so yucky and convicted that I haven’t watched tv since, except for some Twins games or ski/snowboarding events during the Olympics or XGames, but with those we always turn off the commercials. So it’s been like 36 years we haven’t watched tv, and it still feels great! I’m definitely a Jesus freak too. 😄 Thanks for sharing Aminta. I’m encouraged!
Thanks for sharing. I love hearing stories about how the spirit works in the lives of others. It is so encouraging! Thanks also for being real about the changes God asked you to make. The more we talk about the light shining on the darkness in our lives, the more others will be empowered to let their own light shine and make difficult choices to illuminate their own darkness. It’s how we love others in the truth: share it’s power in our own story.
Thanks for sharing your life ‘out-loud’ with your new blog! I am also a lover of Jesus, saved by his incredible grace! Looking forward to hearing your story and will pray for you as you write and share.
Thanks Noreen! I appreciate that- I will take as much prayer as I can get! It would be fun to hear your story too… I hope you share some of it in the comments of my upcoming posts:) God is so good.
Every. Single. Day. I share this story with you and yet I’m so dang glad that it’s my story.
Radical Christianity—I dare to say it’s not even popular with many in my “church circle”…
Love, pray, and worship without ceasing!!!
Love that! Love, Pray and worship without ceasing!
This makes my heart sing praises! Keep speaking the truth in love as called to do. God will continue to use you to glorify Him while teaching and reaching others with your servant soul sista! As Payton said I’m A Facebookless Mom BY CHOICE – I claim to fit in just perfectly where I am at every moment…each day and decision is mine to seize as a gift from HIM alone. I choose to wisely walk as well – with lots of fun along the way. Xo. Pressing on 4 Him Alone – Keri
I love this! So good. I know you are the real deal. I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts too. Love how your light shines!
To God Be The Glory!
Forever and ever! Amen.
Loved every word of this! Thank you for being bold in your faith and sharing your story. xoxo
Thanks so much! I appreciate the kind words. Haven’t seen you guys in a while… hope all is well!!
Tama and I read your blog and are so proud of you and your words of praise for the God who loves you even more than we do! Emmanuel!
Thanks Tama and Nina! I appreciate you reading it! Love you both and praying for you every day.
Very awesome ! I like I don’t fit in & always have but just for different reasons. So you’re not alone either. Even if you have a lot of people around you can still be lonely. But, Thank you Jesus. We are really never alone. I would love to walk with you in your strong faith with Jesus! Love you Minta!!
Yeah! Brenda that is so true…you can be surrounded and still be lonely. have always appreciated the woman God made you to be. Love you too!
❤️ I can’t wait to read more!
Thanks Kim!
Dear One,
As a mother of “mine”, “his”, “ours” and “theirs”, I have children aged 9-43! The difference is there are four other mothers and two other dads involved in their love and care! The last of our “ours” children, twin sons aged 31 recently married and will move out at the end of this month. What now, I ask the Lord. I will be alone with my husband of 33 years for the first time in our lives! As I get to know him as an empty-nester, will I even still like him? Family, however constructed, presents in one way as ‘challenges’, but I prefer to look at them as ‘opportunities’. If we all ‘fit’ in, none of us would be original in Christ who made us as snowflakes…each different, but beautifully and wonderfully made. What makes you SO EXTRA special is that you can help change lives through Christ on two different levels – those through the situations the “Bigs” bring, and those through the situations the “Littles” bring. You are amazing. Only through the likes of God-lovers like you, can you take your sweatpant-wearing lifestyle raising two seperate generations, and turn it into GOOD WITH A PURPOSE! I cheer you on as you sip coffee, eat chocolate, create delectable desserts, and minister to others as a missionary for Christ! I desire the likes of you at my dinner table – we fit in!
Danny,
Thanks for being a cheerleader and sharing your story with me as well. Your love for your “family” is inspiring and amazing. Thanks for being the hands and feet of Jesus to those around you.
I’m glad we fit in together!
Minta
Minta, I love you and your heart for Jesus and others! You have such a beautiful way of integrating and articulating both your head and heart knowledge of Jesus and His Word. I look forward to reading more of your posts! I am so thankful you are in my life (even through all the miles).
Sister!
Thank you for your kind words. I am so thankful for you my friend, and the wisdom and grace you bring to the table. I have appreciated our conversations and learned so much from you. Glad you are family.
Minta
But wanna comment on few general things, The website design and style is perfect, the subject matter is rattling superb. “By following the concept of ‘one country, two systems,’ you don’t swallow me up nor I you.” by Deng Xiaoping.